You Raise Me Up
by alano, the sleepy
A gooooooooddddd morning ladies and gentleman boys and girls children of all ages! Welcome welcome welcome to alano.blogspot.com and I am here now blogging to all my fans when i'm supposed to have class now. See the amount of sacrifice I am willing to make for all my beloved fans; you!?! Aren't you touched aren't you touched?
*millions of fans on the floor below me bowing and screaming their heads off while i wallow in the limelight and atmosphere grinning from ear to ear and waving excitedly at my millions of fans*
Thank you thank you my pleasure! I love you guys! and girls! and lesbians! and gays! I'm not sexist or sexualist! Thank you thank you!
*SLAPS*
ouch.
kk. i'm sorry for not being able to even fantasize for one minute bitch. ugh.
*SLAPS*
ouch!
DO I HAVE TO TYPE IN CAPS TO SHOW YOU THE DEGREE OF PAIN INCURRED?
*SLAPS*
OUCH!
ok happy now?
bah.
K tat was one whole chunk of nonsense! Woo. Aren't you pissed at me that after reading for so long, it was all nonsense? Wahahha.. I'm so crappy i could drown myself in those shit.
xx-hAHahahAHa-xx
HAHA. Can you believe i used to be one of those people who tYpeS liKe tHiS? sEriouSly.. iTS quIte fUn.. TrY it.. bUt tAkeS A whiLE tO mAStEr. hEex.
HAHA Shiok not jodin?
Ok i'm supposed to have 9am ticketing and reservations class now but i woke up at 9am. how lovely. hope i can get a make-up session on friday. then i can learn how to apply mascara, lipstick, foundation, eyeshadow and how to wear a bra.
Oh? They don't teach you how to wear a bra in make-up sessions? damn! I thot i could see some boobies! HAHA.
Which brings me to my first topic. Yesterday in the lift at Cineleisure, there was this group of 3 guys, as usual, NS Dicks i think, who were talking about America's Next Top Model being the only show in tv that shows boobs and asses. They were so excited talking about this particular episode where the model showed half her ass.
Get a life.
If u want to see boobs and asses, we all know where you can get them.
TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC!
HAHAHHAHA... YOU WERE THINKING PORN SITES RIGHT!!
Perverts.
Yes, you heard me right. Temasek Polytechnic. Listen up Mr Boo...
BOOSAMALIA! (heh..sorry i couldnt resist it again. =P)
okok seriously.. i'm sure MANY and i do mean MANY of you would have realized the state of our school's students now in tp. whorehouse man. Low cut dresses, high cut skirts. wah lao eh.
BUT WHOS COMPLAINING?
I'M NOT!
HAHAHAHA.
*dance around like a pro hip hop artist and proceeds to di ban dong zuo + spins around upside down*
*SLA..
*ducks the slap in a rapid robotic like motion and proceeds to do a robot dance*
YOU CAN'T SLAP ME BITCH!
*SPLASH*
ugh. rust. =(
I cried on saturday watching I Not Stupid Too. Amazing how it made me cry 5 times due to 5 different scenarios. I guess the issues were ones i could relate to. Thanks for taking the tears out. I needed it.
I'm sorry to you and I'm sorry to you too.
I'm sorry to you and I'm sorry to you too.
No amount of sorries can atone for my sins. I know that but I hope you four accept them.
I think i shall end here. Or sherry will kill me if i'm late for project meeting. Don't kill me sherry.. I'll sing you a song?
Tell me the tales that to me were so..
*SLAPS*
OUCH.
WHAT? An UPDATE?
by alano, who never updates.
Yes ladies and gentleman. This is not a scam. This is 100% real authentic alano goods.
Yes yes yes. If i could earn 10 cents for each time someone asks me to "update ur freaking blog you damn lazy piece of cow excretion!", i could be staying at sentosa cove now frolicking with 16 hot female models and 7000 cows infront of my six storey castle beside my 16 yatchs on my man made beach called... erm..erm.. alano's beach. Oh ya, dont forget one or two hot male models as well. You gotta satisfy that gay bit in you occasionally.
Cheers.
Ok back to reality.
It's been like freaking long since i've last updated, as usual and as usual, so many things have happened in the past few months even though i keep emphasizing and declaring that i have a life as exciting as a pack of clorets. Go figure.
Once again, i let myself fall into the pits and succumb to the devil's game. I'm now in the state whereby i feel that love is actually created by the devil to satisfy his desire for pain and deriving pleasure from the emotional rollercoasters faced by the parties. Oh well.
Shan't mention too much about it other than I'm sorry. I know you would read this, someday.
School's closed and reopened and now its the last year of what had been a wonderful phase of my life. I've met many people that I could picture drinking coffee with when we're old at the KillhisNI Kopitiam or going geylang with, bald hair and all, eating chicken rice. (If you're dumb enough to read and think chicken rice as chicken rice and nothing more, may your God save you.)
I know this is random, but have i told you i hate ugly people? I guess not. So now i'm telling you ok. Alright. Okok stop it. Alright alright. Freak for goodness sake stop it alright. Ok.
Haha. =p
Ok sorry.
Alright.
FUCK!
OKOK!
Alrig...*what is perceived to be the sound of chainsaws and m4a1s rings in the background*
ugh. freaks.
As i was saying.. I hate Ugly People!
U know sometimes when you're queuing for food at China.. (I will talk about China, India, Biz Park and the likes later, which is driving me crazy too.) and suddenly some assholes keep talking and talking about lame and freak stuff that makes no sense and is like so freaking nerdish and uncool and all that jazz and you're like standing there and you can't help but listen cos they're like just freaking behind you. You think to urself man this guys are losers. They talk bout losers stuff and the least their maker could do was to at least make them look good with nicely styled hair and firm features and good dress sense. BUT NO! They are like freaking ugly. And that is an understatement. I almost vomitted my food out looking at them. And mind you, i haven't even eaten yet. So if they're THAT UGLY to make you want to vomit your food out even though you havent eaten yet, they're THAT UGLY.
freaks.
I think they shouldn't exist in this world. I mean seriously, this is a very xian shi world. If you're talented but ugly, it's ok you can still make it big. Look @ Andrew Chow, Resident DJ of Phuture. I mean that guy's not exactly a looker but man, he's the best in the country. If you're handsome but you're empty up there (and i mean real empty like you could keep a thousand birds and half a giraffe in there) it's still ok cos girls will still flock to you like nobody's business. But no, there is no place in this world for people who are THAT UGLY. Ugh.
Have i told you i hate ugly people!?
I did?
oh ok.
Alright!
NO U FREAK UR SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BY NOW.
Oh ya hor, sorry. *goes back to the blood stained trashbags*
ugh.
Oh ya, so now. To China and India and Biz Park and the likes. (If you don't know where China and India is, i won't tell you in this blog cos later the people from the i-got-nothing-to-do-so-i-read-blogs-everyday-and-jail-those-who-are-racist-sexist-countryist-animalist-and-brandist department of the government come and find me. And i know Jonathan is inside. And he reads my blog. SO YEAH. You can't catch me so easily boss!) Yeah as i was saying. The school canteens are like freaking crowded now. You can't even find a seat unless you're Mr Boo or something.
BOOSAMALIA!
haha sorry couldn't help it.
Bah. Just the other morning, i was taking 27 (which as usual, you can't freaking board @ 9am in the morning!) and when it reached the tampines stop, THE WHOLE FREAKING BUS STOP WAS FILLED WITH TP STUDENTS AND TP STUDENTS. Nothing else BUT TP STUDENTS!
wahlaoseh.
I hope i won't turn like freaking desperate when i'm enlisted in the army cos from what i've seen yesterday at Phuture. Freak, the botaks were fucking desperate! And they're ugly. Have i told you what i feel about ugly people? Yes. So stop stealing pretty and hot babes from the aesthetically advantaged individuals like us.
ugh.
OH YA OH YA. I GOT SOMETHING TO SHARE.. Did you know!!?!! That next thursday is the 18th of May? Yeah.
=)
cheers.
alano.