Friday, November 25, 2005
10:29 PM
Hairy Potter and The Adventures of the Kiasu MRT Commuter
by alano, the one cho chang loves.
Once again, I will start of yet another post with sincere apologies to my beloved beautiful avid readers and i'm utterly sorry for not updating my blog for such a long time. School's been hell, not literally of course but yeah. And the other day i posted two posts k! HA!
Ok nvm.
Never update means never update k, u whore. Due to overwhelming requests and threats to cut off a certain anatomy of my beautiful slim and sexy body if i do not update my blog, here it is!
=D
Finally, after 5 days of non-stop action from waking up at 7 to ending school at 6, here i am sitted on this 5 year old blue office chair in my beautiful room. Talking about that, I think i should do my room for facilities management field assignment. As my room is a hospitality facility which is part of my bed and breakfast package which includes a one night stay in my spacious room on my cosy and relaxing bed with a sumptous breakfast awaiting you when the radiant sun shines on you in the morning after, I shall use my room for facility management field assignment. Anyway for the package above, it is selling at a special price of $1.55 only for now till 30 December 2000056781. Hurry! Limited time only. Terms and Conditions Apply*
(*only applicable to females)
Thank you, please book your timeslots by calling me at Kyuu Ichi Nana Ichi no Ichi Nana Ichi Go.
HAHA. My phone number sounds nice in Jap ryt! Woo. *jumps around and does a cartwheel, which obviously i can't do in real life so WHY DONT U JUST LET ME DO IT IN CYBERSPACE U IDIOT! bah! *
Ok, all the above shit has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the topic i'm talking about today, as usual, as i always digress soooooooooooo much.
As i mentioned earlier, having been going to school for 9am lessons everyday, I have been so very lucky to have the honour to squeeze my small puny almost non-existent (but sexy!) butt amongst the many office ladies and fat men in high pleated pants and white socks with black shoes and all these idiotic people who call themselves adults are so selfish and kiasu it's like winning 4D when you get to plonk your big fat hairy butt on that lone seat in the middle of the carriage that you have been eyeing on even before the doors have opened. Then you proceed to smile in jubilation and pride at the losers around you who arrive 0.59 seconds late and lost the seat to you because either your butt is bigger than theirs or your ego is so much bigger than your butt. And i'm pretty sure half of them are parents themselves and by showcasing this abhorent behavior in public, i'm sure you're qualified to teach your kids what is right and what is wrong. Fuck those bitches and fatass men who did not give your seat up to the poor pregnant lady. I hope you get raped when you are photocopying materials in your office and then when you are pregnant, realise how idiotic you have been and in case i get flamed for being sexist(how would i know whether the Check Blog Everyday for Racists, Sexists and Exorcists Department in the Ministry of ChoBo-ness are mostly female or not ryt.), I hope you fatass men too get a particular part of your male anatomy chopped off to make badminton racket handles. Then now you can sit your fatass, without the dick of course, on that nice little space meant for the disabled.
Ah, that feels better.
Tomorrow will be an exciting day hopefully as I will be out with my beloved 'Boss' Mr. Leung on a Wine and Cheese Tasting Session with my wonderful mates and friends and hope it's fun. Till then i'm shagged out so i think i shall go and have a shag.
Ciao!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
11:34 PM
LOL, I can't bliv ppl talk like this.
by alano, the hospital student
Yes, this is my second blog post of the day. If you notice it, then either
1. You are a stalker
or
2. You are damn bored and is camping at my blog and pressing the refresh button 24/7
Anyway yeah. Most of you all wouldn't notice that this is the second blog post of the day as the first one has been up for like what, barely a few hours? So this is the first time i'm posting twice in a day. Most often than not, i post like once every 2 weeks so it even amazes me how i can post twice in a day. Quick go buy 4d!
the number is. erm. erm. 5566.
Speaking of 5566, it reminds me of ocean ou. (K i know i know, there's absolutely no relation here. I'm just trying my best to link my topics K! Ugh.) Lol. Have you any idea how HANDSOME he looks? Woot. I can wank off just looking at his nostrils.
Anyway, I heard the Jay Chou album has some pretty nice songs, so i shall go and "buy" his songs later, online, if you get what i mean. =D
Actually what I want to talk about and what the title is all about is regarding this particular article I read in the Sunday Times (now, all you people who shriek and gasp at the meer mention of me reading the newspaper, GET OUT NOW. YES I DO READ THE NEWSPAPER.) Yeah anyway, this article talks about teenagers nowadays actually talking msn language. Like actually pronouncing words like LOL (for those who are mentally unfast, it would actually sound like how u would pronounce Lorl) Like ok, thats just plain stupid! Can you imagine the future with people talking like that? Man, the mouth would be as useful as that Home button on your keyboard (correct me if i am wrong, does anyone ever use that button?) so anyway ya. I canNOT imagine what the world would be like when you tell a joke to your friend and he says LOL instead of laughing. Now what the f_ck is the world coming to? Oh no, i should say "W T F is the world coming to?"
Stupid kids
Speaking of stupid kids, why are there still people in education-is-the-most-important-thing-in-this-country-Singapore who still think that Hospitality and Tourism Management is a diploma about Managing tourists and hospitals!?! Like what the hell!? If i could say it in your face, it would sound something like this. "LORL, W T H you talking about?" Ugh, what good has education done to you if you don't even have common sense. Ok, I know some people wouldn't exactly know what Hospitality means, but HELLO, why would you be studying how to manage tourists coming into hospitals? Two words for you peabrains! -
COMMON SENSE!.
BaaH.
Anyway, I am sure every single one of you reading my blog do not belong to the pathetic group of people up there that i have mentioned. If you are smart enough to type alano.blogspot.com on your browser address bar, I am sure you can differentiate your Hospitalitys from your Hospitals. Anyway, It has come to my notice that over the years since alano.blogspot.com was born (I am the father AND the mother, don't ask me how. If you want, I can show you. Please book a slot with me by smsing A L A N Your Name, Your IC number and the time and place. Only applicable to females and no, no matter what they say, gays are NOT females. Thank You.) many of you have kindly pointed out that you all like my style of writing and like to read my blog. Thank you for the compliment and I am grateful for your everlasting support and praise.
Speaking of praise, as i was enjoying listening to the mp3s in my computer, this song Still started to play. As some of you would have noticed, Still is a praise and worship song and this was the song that touched my heart and brought me to God and still amazingly does the magic still. I started to sing together (the horrors, how glad are you that you are not my sister/brother/roommate and that you will never live to hear this scene.) with the singer and I cried. No matter what some of you may think, I still hold myself as a Christian. It's my promise to God and what have you got to do with my relationship with Jesus?
Shoo.
Anyway, today i wondered: If i had a sister, how would she look like? Considering that I am so ugly and horny, I think she would be an Ugly Ah Lian. Thank God i'm the only child. Sorry to have put that thought in your mind.
Damn, by the time i type finish this post, it's already Monday.
Bleah.
6:17 PM
A: Love it, Hate it.
by alano, the B.
The letter A shall be feared throughout half of the 18 year old population in Singapore as of tomorrow as it unleashes its fury and malice to all the JC students in this small little red dot we call a developed country; whether be it the infamous Junior College with its famous population of non-virgin students or the haughty and proud one with its array of Mercedes Benz and BMWs lined up around and within its school complex like a FBI style criminal arrest or that dream school of many perverts with its wonderful variety of short skirts and more short skirts. Tomorrow is the day where you will see how powerful the alphabet A is as it strikes immense fear into the hearts of all JC students; virgin, non-virgin, gay, lesbian or plain nerdy. Good luck to all my fellow sinners who have chosen this dark path. I'm glad i did not join you. *adds scene of me draped in black tuxedo with red collar put up across the back of my neck and sharp teeth gaping out of my blood filled mouth cackling sinisterly*
Halloween's already over, stupid.
Ok sorry.
Anyway, as mentioned above, the dreaded A Levels will knock on your parquet/metallic/plastic/wooden/concrete/acrylic/paper doors officially as of tomorrow for all my beloved JC friends whom i feel sorry for for living in this country which focuses so much on education and the whannots but still produces its fair share of idiots, stupid people and plain bastards. Anyway, hope you all get lots of A's for your A's! HAHA.
Sorry, i had to type that out. =D
If it makes any of you all feel better, poor old me will be starting school tomorrow after such a wonderful two months of fun, laughter, joy and sex. (OKOK, no sex, but can't you just let this little virgin prick feel happy bluffing himself for just one minute!!??!! Ugh.) Speaking of pricks, I really wonder whether my friend really has such a big _ _ _ _ for someone of such a small stature like himself and it really makes me wonder whether it really is true that God is fair by blessing him with such a huge, erm, dragon when his elder brother clearly has stolen much of the looks department's gene pool from his parents. Well, I clearly would rather not know whether it really is true that he is fricking 6.5 damn inches long (or more so he claims), unlike my very gay friend who is practically dying to erm, lick the lollipop.
I'm sorry for that very disturbing scene.
Anyway, before that very disturbing digression, as many of all you avid alano.blogspot.com readers would know (because basically the bulk of you are in the same damn school) I'll be starting school tomorrow and it sure doesn't help that we'll all be stuck in the same class for another semester! Well, this really doesn't mean that my class now is rubbish but all I'm saying is I would sell my ass for a new change of class. That is, if anyone is willing to buy it at all.
It shocks me to notice how quick some people are to have switched incompetent members of their project group even before school has started and I really enjoy looking at how all these politics and whatnots are staging itself infront of my very own eyes and I can't wait to see the drama unfold in my class when the first tutor asks the class to form a project group. Bring on the popcorn and coke and nachos and oreos and chicken wings and hotdogs and sashimi and watermelons.
Ok sorry again, too much food.
Note to self: I am getting lamer with each day spent cooped up at home.
So back to school, the sun, the sand and the wonderful people that I have not seen for close to 2 months. Another short semester to go before our attachment and I really really really hope to get into some damn good hotel like Ritz Carlton and the likes of it. (If you are a Ritz Carlton employee, or better still, top-notch manager or something, I LOVE RITZ CARLTON. =D)
Anyway, this is a very random blog post. Just updating about my life and nothing much has changed..
1. I am still a virgin.
2. I am still balding.
3. I am still single and desperate.
Thank You.
I miss You.