The SIA has reason to believe that the spaceship will lengthen itself upon nearing the Earth's atmosphere and attempt to probe the Earth at a rapid speed until most of the Earth's buildings and resources have been weakened. As a final shot, the Plutonian Spacecraft will attempt to shoot a strong jet of toxic Plutonium into the Earth's atmosphere to poison any living creature to death. Many skeptical humans interviewed, upon hearing how the Plutonian spacecraft will attack Earth, have responded with the following words: "It has COME!"
Intelligence have gathered that the spacecraft will eject it's Plutonium toxic directly at the point in the Earth where Singapore lies. Therefore, Scientists all over the world are now gathering upon Singapore, a sunny island off the Straits of Malacca to come up with a solution as to how to stop this phenomenal object from "coming" to the Earth.
Meanwhile, back in Singapore, the People's Important Men Party (PIMP) are gathering to discuss security issues that would be brought upon when the scientists arrive in Singapore. Hotels all over the country have been asked to free rooms for these scientists upon their arrival. Drivers have been trained to ferry these scientists around the island and many voluntary guides have been deployed to guide these scientists around the island when they arrive in Singapore. A countrywide campaign called “Save Me I’m Leaving Earth Soon” (SMILES) campaign have been proposed in view of the arrival of these scientists from all over the world. The SMILES campaign has kicked off to an amazing start with many people sending in pictures of how they would look like “when Earth gets invaded by the angry Plutonians”. The international association of Scientists, Scientists Internationale Association Order (SIAO) has spoken praise of Singapore’s efforts in providing a secure and pleasure location for its Scientists.
Latest reports from SIA have confirmed images of one of the alien Plutonians after it was being shot down while trying to “hump a poodle”. I allege all readers to not be alarmed at the disturbing images about to be portrayed of this fierce looking gruesome alien.
The top scientists have officially touched down upon the sunny island of Singapore and efforts are being made to recover some scientists from China because they always think that Singapore is in China. In the meantime, while waiting for these ignorant scientists, the other scientists are touring the sunny island and some have signed up for tour packages to visit nearby Malaysia, Indonesia and even Thailand. Asian Tourism Arrivals are expected to boom due to this.
As time passes by, many are dying with each minute as the evil Plutonian spacecraft launches its deadly probes on the planet Earth and moans of pain can be heard from the millions of Earthlings with each deep and sensous probe from the spacecraft.
After hours of meetings amongst the elite Scientists, an Asian scientist has come up with a solution to combat the Plutonians. Having initially been ostracized by the other Scientists due to his Asian origins, the other Scientists have finally agreed to follow his recommendations.
The Asian scientist has commented: “Who said that we can only be karate and kungfu masters or open Chinese Food Takeaways in Chinatown and speak with weird accents or be evil Asian mafias who in the end always kena by the chao angmos? We can be scientist also ma!” The Asian Scientist is believed to be of Singaporean origins.
The scientist has stated that the only method of stopping the alien spacecraft is to cover it with a protective sheath made of rubber. This would prevent the spacecraft from ejecting it’s toxic Plutonium into the Earth’s atmosphere which would destroy all of Earth’s mankind. Efforts are being made to produce this “weapon” and Singapore has opened up for applications to companies to spearhead this project. Durex has teamed up with local boys “People of Changi Carpark” (PCC), to submit their application to spearhead this project and they have been viewed as the forerunners of this project. Upon being asked why they have chosen PCC as their partner, the director of Durex, Mr. Con Domisgood have stated that: “Having experience in the Singapore market, PCC would provide us with a competitive advantage over the other applicants and PCC is popular for being able to deal with long shafts day in day out, to the extent of being able to absorb liquids exiting out of this shafts.”
Latest reports from CNN, CCB and KNN have confirmed that the people at Durex-PCC have successfully stopped the toxic plutonium from entering the Earth’s atmosphere. We are safe!
Moral of the Story?
Always wear condom!
