The Confessions
by alano, the virgin.
Today is the day of confessions. I shall strip myself naked today and give you a list of confessions of my deepest darkest secrets. Yes, including that secret that everyone wants to know. Read on, just read on.
Firstly, i want to tell everyone that I AM REALLY STILL A VIRGIN.
Why in the world would anyone come up to me and say "You're right Alan, like i believe you still am a virgin." or "Don't bluff la!" Come on people, which guy or girl or pig or peacocks or any other cocks for that matter in a right state of mind would doubt that i am still a virgin? I mean come on, look at me in the eye and tell me you look twice at me whenever you pass me 'cos i'm so handsome/cute/has wonderful eyes/nose/eyebrows/upper lip/molars/pubic hair/nipples/dandruff/looks like jay chou/slyvester sim/taufik batisah/olinda cho/mark lee/bryan wong/elmo/bigbird/tinky winky.
Please la, with this kind of looks, of course i am still a virgin! Heck, i never even had a girlfriend before!
Ya, that was point number two.
Come to think of it, i was so depressed over a girl once, my mum came to me and this happened:
The Mysterious Mum who hides behind her room door whenever you all come: "Boy ah, ni zuo mo?"
Me: (crying) "Mei you la"
TMMWHBHRDWYAC: "Nu pen you chao jia ah?"
TMMW..ah heck, the mum: "Hai shi nan pen you?"
wah lao eh. Mother ah. I'm not gay la for goodness sake!
yea i think that can be point number 3 if anyone of you all still doubt my sexuality. I am lesbian ok; i love girls!
woo.
ok now comes the moment you all have been waiting for. The confession of confessions. *drumroll please*
I, ALAN LOW, HEREBY ANNOUNCE, I AM IN LOVE AND COMPLETELY HEAD OVER HEELS WITH....
Always Coca Cola!
Wahahahaha. Eat your hearts out Jodin and Tat Ming! *woo*runs around in jubilation and does 72.5 jumping jacks and rolls on the floor for 2.51 centimetres*
Yes and as many of you all can see now, due to controversy surrounding why a particular someone is the first on my Link(Lust) Page, and saying that the first person is the one i lust most about, i have now gladly changed the first person to who else but our very own william scorpion ma..ah you get it.
so.. number 5: ACCORDING TO TAT MING'S THEORY, I NOW LUST AFTER HIM!
